Nurture: the process of caring for and encouraging the growth or development of someone or something.
There’s that magical day when you’re standing at the alter and your partner walks down the aisle, you say your vows, kiss and finally become one with each other. It’s one of the happiest days in many of our lives. Let’s face it, this is a life changing event! So what’s next? Guys, do we call up our buddies, play endless rounds of golf, work 24/7 and have ESPN on a constant loop? Ladies, do you soul cycle at the crack of dawn, work your butts off, pull out the hidden box of sweatpants, and do a girls night out a few times a week? (Sound of record scratching) I think not!
Ok, let’s get real, sure all of the above sounds amazing and is pretty much 90% true 90% of the time with a lot of married couples. But in order to keep a Marriage growing and ever changing; to keep it alive and interesting, you Must continue dating! Yes, that’s right I said it! For all of you married couples who think this dating blog doesn’t pertain to you, did you hear what I said?! Dating and marriage can and should, actually coexist! Now, it doesn’t have to be done in the way that you might be thinking. Well hmmmm… Ok, I take that back. It should be done in exactly the way that you’re thinking. Because if you’re thinking full on courtship like you were doing before you two tied the knot, then, yes, that’s what you do.
Now, I know a new life takes over after marriage with the addition of the new home, kids and, hopefully, a lot of personal growth for each of you. But that’s the time for you to come together even more so because of all the new challenges you will be facing, not only as a family unit, but as a team. Remember that the two of you are still at the core of all of this and in order for everything to run smoothly like a well oiled machine you both have to get back to the root of your passion.
So, how do we start you ask? Well, let’s see, I suggest starting from the beginning. How did you two meet? What brought you together in the first place? What did you see in him or he in you? However you got to this point, revisit the things that gave you that spark in your eyes, warm fuzzy in your belly, and throbbing in your…. (sorry, getting a little excited). Try to do the best of all the things that made you fall in love as well as exploring new and unfamiliar things that you might think will add to your relationship.
What’s exciting about you being able to continually date is that it will give you both a chance to check in with each other and connect. Not only on a romantic level but also on a mental, spiritual and physical level as well. Where as you might not get those opportunities to even say hello during your weekly routine because of all of the usual work deadlines, house chores, and kid activities. Depending on what stage you are in during your marriage, don’t ever take it for granted.
Here is the biggest piece of advice I can give you; being a guy who was once married (which I will divulge in full one day): Always be in the present moment when you’re with your significant other. The times that you’re alone and can spend quality time together is precious and never take it for granted (and this goes for all of you daters as well). Never miss an opportunity to just tune out the background noise of work, kids, and every day life situations when you two are with each other. Put the phones down and just take time to breathe in each other. Sometimes just taking a minute to stare into each others eyes will give you that “Ah, there you are” moment and that’s all it takes. Trust me, one of my favorite things to do is to just look into my partner’s eyes and get lost in them and when I get this big ole smile on my face and feel my heart warming, I know that I found that special connection with her.