- Purgatory: a place or state of mental anguish or suffering.
Do men and women shop differently? From my knowledge and to be frank….. just being a guy who has spoken with a lot of other guys on this subject…. we do. With myself being in the minority by the way, men hate shopping. While the majority of women feel quite the opposite. Men care about speed and accomplishing the ultimate objective while women care more about the creative and social aspect of shopping. Alright, I’m getting ahead of myself. Let me back track a little bit.
True story. I decide to go shopping with my sister and niece. Now, I’m no stranger to the game and I’m psyched for the excursion and think I know exactly what I’m getting myself into. We hit the first store and those two get right down to business. You know, head straight for the racks like a moth to the flame and then shuffle through them like a skilled card magician. As I’m perusing the aisles (which takes me all of about 2 minutes in this unimpressively bland store) I decide to take a seat in the front of the store and wait it out. As I’m sitting there, I realize, “Oh shit, I’m doing that guy thing!” I had gone completely dark, checked out and retired to Lala land. I, like so many of my compadres, went looking for the nearest sanctuary to take me away from this overwhelming somewhat obligatory past time called shopping. I ranted internally, “I’m not equipped to handle this!” Peering to the right and to the left, neither were the surrounding XY beings who had already thrown up their white flags. Not yet willing to succumb to defeat, I pull myself up. “Come on Chris… man up, you got this”. I endure the first wave as the girls finally walk to the front with bags in tow and usher me out the door and on to the next endeavor. Knowing what’s coming next, I regroup and compose myself.
As we’re walking past a few unworthy shops that they didn’t even dare enter; I started thinking: this was my next blog post to write about. Why do guys have an aversion to shopping with women? So I start taking notes on my phone. As we enter the next store I’m typing away while wandering around lost in thought. I finally stop in my tracks and continue to write. A woman, at this point, comes up to me and touches my arm. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I thought you were a mannequin”. I guess my outfit was to her approval; “Go Snow Patrol”! (For those of you who know me-Inside joke). Ok, let’s get back on track.
Just like watching tear-jerkers, why do men decide to draw a line in the sand when it comes to shopping with our significant others? I mean sure, we make the effort to go; but 90% of the time it’s a gut wrenching experience that most guys would rather cut out their own tongues with a dull razor blade. At first, we do it to impress our partner and to show them that we are fully committed to them. We are more than happy to walk hand in hand into every store, watch them rifle through the racks, voluntarily hold every garment that’s handed to us, and wait patiently like the queen’s guard while they head into the dressing room for the illustrious fitting. Boring! (Who said that?)
Hold on… wait a minute! C’mon guys! Let’s find a compromise here! Now, I know for every 15 women’s boutique there is but a handful of men’s store sprinkled within there. I also know that men have the attention span of a dog who gets distracted by…. SQUIRREL!! And women are like cats who can patiently wait out any prey until they set their minds to pounce! Wham!
So you see shopping is merely just an outlet that rivals any marathon. It requires discipline, focus and stamina. It’s not a sprint; well unless there’s a huge sale and that requires a plan of attack and speed (This is when I implore you gentlemen to sit this one out!).
So, here’s my solution, guys the next time you go out for a shopping day with your significant other, make sure you are fed and hydrated first (don’t go for the cocktails just yet) and go in with the mindset that wherever you go your first priority is to be in the present with her. Get involved, take notes. For instance, What’s her style? What colors look best on her? Does she look good in dresses or is she a top and skirt kind of gal? All of this knowledge not only shows that you care about her, but it also makes the shopping experience a hell of a lot more interesting and fun. I mean think about it, when she looks good and feels amazing in what she has on; you’re the one reaping the benefit and the rewards of all of that. The one thing that every guy seems to forget about on this shopping experience is that she wants to look good for you. And personally if you’re enjoying this journey with her; it’s not only a huge sexy turn on when they come out of the dressing room in something that they normally wouldn’t wear that’s a little more risqué, but you’re also convincing her to make that purchase because of the semi that she sees bulging out of your pants. I mean there’s nothing hotter to a woman than your seal of approval and what she sees on your face and body language towards her; versus just the uninterested stock answer of “yeah babe, that looks good if you think it does”.
So guys, get interested and get involved. Help your significant other shop! This mean you’ve got to get in the trenches and start rifling through the racks and help her find that next outfit. And, Viola, no more man chair for you. You’ve actually gone from the “wait for me outside” economy class and graduated to the “come sit with me in the dressing room” status and that’s first class baby! I’m telling you it becomes an art form and it does takes time. But when she actually finally trusts and cares about your opinion; there’s nothing more sexier than that and then you’ve hit true compatibility. Score!
Now, I get to the point of why I’m telling you this story. A salesperson comes up to me a few minutes later and says, “Excuse me sir, there’s a few chairs upfront to sit while you’re waiting”. I looked at her for a moment and almost laughed right in her face. She just confirmed the whole point of why I was writing this article. It was as if it was on cue, that because I’m a guy standing around in a woman’s clothing store, I must be out of place. She literally sent me out to pasture to graze in peace with the other guys. Even though I was the type of guy who was happy to be there and was excited to help out; I was automatically called out and ostracized to the “Chair” with all of the other dudes. Well, at least I didn’t go over there with purse and bags in tow. Peace!!