quarantine: impose isolation on (a person, animal, or place); put in quarantine.
compatible: (of two things) able to exist or occur together without conflict.
There’s love and then there’s LOVE! Being able to love someone requires: honesty, respect, and patience. But being able to really truly love someone, in these strange times of quarantine and shelter in place, requires a huge amount of: HONESTY, RESPECT and a TON OF PATIENCE! Okay….okay…Now, I know you’re probably thinking to yourself, “There’s got to be more to love than just those three things, right”? And the answer to that is, “Well yes, of course there are”. But if you can survive with just those three rules of love (for now) you’re good to go. We are all going through the tough time right now of, first and foremost, staying healthy and not getting sick. In today’s age of technology and advanced medicine, I would have never ever imagined a time where a virus could stop the world dead in its tracks and leave us all wondering “Will I be next?” As humans, we crave social interaction as much as we enjoy spending a little time to ourselves. But now, with social distancing being the norm and the stay-at-home order in place to keep us all safe. We are forced into a situation that most of us aren’t equipped to deal with. Being home, working from a computer (or not at all), and seeing our daily routine go to crap. So how are you going to handle being in closed quarters with your loved one?
Now, I know what you’re all thinking, a few days in and you’re probably saying: “It’s not so bad”, “I can get through this”, It’s only for a few weeks, right?” Sure for a very small percentage of people in relationships (living together or married) that might be true. But for the vast majority of the relationship population hanging out for an unforeseeable amount of time together could be like sitting on a ticking time bomb without a countdown. The fact of the matter is, we have no idea how long this pandemic is going to last. Some experts are saying that the worst has yet to come, while others feel it will come and go like most things do in this world if we stay put and follow the rules. In any case, that’s not my job. My job is to help get you through this by lending my advice and support. And the first order of business is to be honest with yourself.
One of the hardest things to do, for any of us, is to take a good long hard look at yourself in the mirror. Know your strengths and weaknesses. With the time you have right now, think about what you can and can’t handle. We all have a threshold or breaking point on a lot of things and this is a great time to figure out what those limitations might be. For the most part, I’m pretty sure you already know what a lot of those are. But, still better to go over the checklist, so you don’t end up strangling your partner in their sleep because you missed one.
It’s a perfect time to share with your partner and to be HONEST. So that you both can be prepared to weather the storm. It could be as simple as choosing what show you both want to watch; or as complex as to whose cleaning the bathroom today since the housekeeper is on leave. Just make sure that you both are willing to be flexible by sharing your honesty with one another. If you’re not in the mood to do something; say so. If you don’t want to watch an 80’s crime drama; tell them you want to watch a comedy. If you don’t want to clean that bathroom…. I don’t blame you! Just make sure you stay honest and hopefully that dirty bathroom will get cleaned by one of you some day soon. Gross!
So, one of the biggest things I love about being in love is having Respect for whom I’m with. This to me, is the basis of any relationship and solidifies the foundation. Okay…. got it! Did you hear what I just said? I will repeat the statement if you didn’t get it the first time. Having respect for whom you’re with is the base and it solidifies the foundation of all relationships. There… now let’s add a 24/7 shelter in place situation and no clue on to when you will be able to get back to your everyday routine and let’s a) see what your true hair color is going to be and b) how much respect you’ll have for your partner when all this is said and done. Let’s face it, this isn’t a ten day vacation, you’re stuck (whether you want to or not) with your partner for a good while. So, let’s learn how to get a long and stay happy throughout.
But just for fun, I found these 11 traits of respect to share with you. Let’s hope that you and your partner at least adhere to 7 of them through these tough times.
Trait #1: They’re honest. They don’t lie. People can depend upon them. Think of the heroes we admire in books, movies and real life. Don’t they act with honesty and integrity? Aren’t they generous with others? Doesn’t everyone look up to them?
Trait #2: They don’t lose their tempers, scream, yell or strike out against others when things don’t go their way. In other words, they rarely lose control. When negative things happen to them, they remain positive. They treat people as they would like to be treated.
Trait #3: They are tenacious. They don’t give up easily. They become resourceful when the going gets rough. They totally get that they can’t change other people or the circumstances, but they can change their attitudes about situations.
Trait #4: They admit when they’re wrong. Instead of sticking to their guns (no matter what) just to be “right,” they fess up to their mistakes, particularly when it lets another person “off the hook” or eases a situation.
Trait #5: They aren’t lazy; they strive. They are hard workers who always want to “get it right.”
Trait #6: They have their priorities straight. They put what is truly important, what will really help others or a situation, above their own needs.
Trait #7: They have an inner sense of right and wrong. They innately know the right thing to do, and they understand clearly when an injustice is being served.
Trait #8: They tend to be role models for other people. Others admire and look up to them.
Trait #9: They are givers. They know the “secret” that the more you give, the more you receive when you are genuine about your gifts. We’re talking not so much about money but time and expertise. They operate on Zig Ziglar’s quote, “You will get all you want in life if you help enough people get what they want.”
Trait #10: They have high self-esteem. They believe they deserve success and know they can do anything they go after. They know that a mistake is something that they do and not who they are. They keep a positive self-image because they know that self-esteem is a state of mind that they have chosen.
Trait #11: They are loyal, even when it’s tough to do so. They stand behind those with whom they have forged relationships and don’t betray them.
Well, there you have it. I just wanted to share my thoughts with you on how to survive together through this pandemic.
Wait, what’s that….. Oh, I forgot to mention: Patience! Well, if you were paying close attention to everything I just talked about, you’d realize that it takes “A Lot” of patience to stick to all of the above.
Make sure you both take time out for yourselves during the crisis as well as getting plenty of rest and exercise. But most importantly, take this time to reconnect and to take the time out to remember why you two fell in love in the first place. Take walks, play games, share laughs, Zoom or Face time with friends, make up mini dates and most importantly tell each other “I Love You” as much as you can everyday. Because quite frankly, with everything going on, everyday really does count and as we’ve all seen; this virus is no joke!
*** Please stay Healthy and Safe!